


Forward

by elliceluella



Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, here have this ficlet about things, that just bubbled up after i had Lana Del Rey on loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 12:04:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5374586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elliceluella/pseuds/elliceluella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Karen," Matt turns to face her slightly. His voice is soft, but underneath that is a determination she's come to learn will never bow nor yield. She swallows thickly, because  she knows it’s almost here. He licks his lips, almost hesitant, but Karen knows better than to hope he'll change his mind at the last minute and braces herself. “The- the guy that hired us to defend Healy. James Wesley. That was you, wasn’t it?”</i>
</p>
<p>  <i>And there it was.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Forward

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this [prompt](http://daredevilkink.dreamwidth.org/6237.html?thread=11730013#cmt11730013)
> 
> Title taken from what Matt told Karen in ep 13, because that's what I, weirdo that I am, envisioned when Matt said that.

There's an overwhelming sense of déjà vu- sitting on his couch again, bathed in the light from the billboard outside- only this time she's trying not to jump every time a jarring crack of lightning splits the dark sky into temporary fragments.

Something else is different too. The convoluted mix of fear and quiet attraction from the first time she was in his apartment has shifted, the quiet draw she feels towards him not so quiet anymore. Karen's not sure if it's the way the rain mingles with the lights of the city and the glare from the billboard to create this purple, almost ethereal glow, or whether it's the soft patter the droplets make against the window- hell, maybe it's all of it- but things feel almost...right.

For a fleeting moment she marvels at how a handful of external elements could make an almost closeted moment so intimate. She lets herself get lost mulling over how much closer to Matt she's been feeling- both physically and emotionally- how she's been leaning into him whenever they sit next to each other, lingering grazes on his shoulder and elbow, quiet smiles that he always manages to reciprocate- all of it a feeble attempt to put off the impending question she knows is coming.

It was only a matter of time, she knew, after she put two and two together, after Matt confirmed what she'd already known (it was the way he set his jaw while cross examining a witness in court- identical to Daredevil; the bruises only affirmed everything else), that what she did would come to light.

She just didn't expect it to happen approximately two hours after the Big Reveal.

The three of them decided to hold Avocado Night at Matt's place this week, but Foggy quickly excused himself after dinner, mumbling some mangled half-truth about meeting Marci for a "nightcap". Clearly, Foggy (Matt too, probably) had been planning this for some time, the how-to-let-Karen-know-about-Matt event.

"Karen," Matt turns to face her slightly. His voice is soft, but underneath that is a determination she's come to learn will never bow nor yield. She swallows thickly, because  she knows it’s almost here. He licks his lips, almost hesitant, but Karen knows better than to hope he'll change his mind at the last minute and braces herself. “The- the guy that hired us to defend Healy. James Wesley. That was you, wasn’t it?”

And there it was.

The flash of lightning outside makes her jump in earnest this time, but whether it's from the jarring visual or because it feels like a white hot rod of conscience searing her soul she doesn't know.

The weight in her chest grows until it’s almost hard to breathe. Karen looks down at her lap and nods slowly. “He- he ambushed me outside my place the night I found Foggy practically curled up at Josie’s. Wanted me to talk Ben out of investigating Fisk, to convince him that I was wrong, that Fisk was the man this city needed. When I refused, he threatened to kill everyone I cared about, threatened Ben, Foggy,” she wills her breathing to slow down, “you.”

She’s suddenly cold, so cold, but her hands remain by her side, fingers curled into fists. She likes how her fingernails are biting into her palms. It stings, but in a good way. Matt’s lips are pressed in a grim line as he listens.

“He was careless. Got distracted by a phone call, so I grabbed the gun from the table and did it. Seven times.”

“What did you do with the gun?” He's frowning, but not at her.

“I wiped the table down, left with the gun and threw it into the river.” Her heart is pounding in her ears as she squeezes her fists tighter.

“After Ben’s funeral. That’s what got to you, wasn’t it. You were afraid that Fisk would come after you because of Wesley?”

Karen makes an affirmative noise, words not quite able to make it past her lips yet.

“Karen, stop.” Matt’s voice is warm and gentle, just like his hands as they reach out for  her cold ones before pulling them into his lap, breaking her out of her thoughts. “You’re bleeding.”

She looks down at the blood on her palms and under her nails. “Oh.” She doesn’t even feel the biting pain anymore.

“Which of your super senses let you in on what I did to Wesley?” she asks, a moment later, because digesting everything Matt had told her about his abilities was going to take more than a few hours.

Matt licks his lips again, a nervous tic that she has come to find endearing. “The gunshot residue on your bracelets. I could smell them. Just like how I can smell this,” He says, as he gives her hands a small squeeze. The fact that he hasn't let go of her hands isn't lost on her.

"I'm not sorry, about any of it," Karen says. "Daredevil or not, I'd have done it again. Losing Ben was enough. I'm...I’m not going to lose Foggy or you, either." She's frustrated that the resolution in her tone is undermined by a crack in her voice, and even more frustrated-and embarrassed- when a tear slips down her cheek.

She shifts herself so that she's resting her head on his shoulders, face hidden from his. She’d meant every word she said when she told him that he and Foggy were the only good things in her life. Foggy was the light she never knew she needed until she met him, and Matt was- he was everything. She liked how that word was vague and specific all at once.

"Hey," Matt says soothingly. He turns and puts one arm around her, while his other hand reaches for her chin, gently tilting her face up to his. She does everything she can to stop herself from biting her lip as he brushes the tear from her face with his thumb, breath hitching as it travels down and starts to trace feather-light strokes below her lip. She looks up into his eyes, and there's something there besides that heart-aching vulnerability that she can't describe.

He leans forward until he's less than an inch from her face, then stops, the unspoken question lingering. Karen answers him by leaning in and brushing her lips lightly against his, soft as a whisper before she parts her lips to deepen the kiss. Matt pours himself into it, along with all the things he wanted to say but couldn't find the words for. Her heart is hammering in her chest, the joy and exhilaration from how it feels to finally be home shooting up like sparks through her veins.

Matt moves his hand to her neck, while the other pulls her flush against him. She responds with a soft moan, tangling her fingers through his hair, lightly tracing the side of his jaw, before running her hands down his back, relishing every dip and curve she feels.

He trails his lower lip against hers after the kiss, eliciting a shiver from her.  "Karen," the ragged breath he exhales from saying her name enters her mouth, and she gasps lightly. Words evade her, so she presses her forehead against Matt's while she catches her breath, taking the moment to appreciate his lips, which are redder and fuller than they usually are. She smiles into his shoulder to let him know how she feels, even though he’s probably already well aware. Matt kisses her head before he tucks her hair behind her ear, then lifts a hand to his lips and presses a kiss to the inside of her wrist.

It's not long before everything that's transpired over the last few hours begin to weigh on her eyelids, and Karen doesn't quite manage to stifle a yawn. Matt chuckles, then moves a little so that she can curl into his side. He strokes her hair in silence while they listen to the rain, a lullaby that works all too soon for her.

===

 She doesn't know how much time has passed when she stirs from sleep, but the sky's still dark. Matt must have carried her to his room sometime after she fell asleep, his silk sheets cool against her skin. She looks down to see his arms circled around her waist and smiles like a giddy school girl. Matt nuzzles and kisses the back of her neck and she lets out a silent, contented sigh. "What is it?" he asks, voice still coated with sleep.

 "Nothing, Matt," she says, threading her fingers with his, then kissing the back of his hand. "Nothing."

 

 


End file.
